Alexis had never suffered from mental illness, and her middle name, Joy, aptly represented her vivacious and carefree personality. But right after the birth of her daughter, Adriana, Alexis’s demeanor changed drastically. Her primary care provider, OB-GYN, pediatrician and even the crisis clinic she called, assured her that it was nothing more than “normal baby blues.” She and her husband, Steven, felt anything but normal and were desperate for help. A psychiatrist assured Steven that beautiful women only commit suicide by asphyxia, or swallowing pills, and therefore advised Steven to hide Alexis’s car keys and pill bottles. Apparently, he deemed her “too beautiful to harm herself in a sloppy way.” Sadly, he was sorely mistaken.
When Adriana was only 5-weeks-old, Steven and Alexis endured a particularly difficult night. She cried for hours, and despite utter exhaustion, he was afraid to close his eyes. He finally collapsed into a deep sleep with Alexis in his arms but awoke several hours later to an empty bed and his newborn’s wails. The terror he felt at that moment is almost unimaginable. He bolted from his bed screaming her name, running through every room of the house. Desperate, he ran down the basement steps, finding her lifeless body hanging just behind the washing machine that worked overtime on his daughter’s onesies and burp cloths. He ran upstairs to find scissors to cut her loose and rushed her lifeless body to the hospital, where she spent two days in ICU before succumbing to her battle with postpartum depression.
After speaking with his family’s priest at the hospital, Steven’s life mission crystalized: He would work to ensure that women had access to compassionate and purposeful mental health services that address all aspects of postpartum depression and aim to prevent the escalation that claimed Alexis’s life. Steven founded the Alexis Joy D’Achille Foundation, whose stated mission is “to be a shining light for women and families suffering from and affected by perinatal mood and anxiety disorders spanning, but not limited to, infertility, postpartum depression, and infant and child loss. By educating the community with our story, we strive to raise awareness and develop programs needed for these women and families.”
Eventually, Steven partnered with Highmark Insurance and Allegheny Health Network’s Psychiatric and Women’s Health Services in Pittsburgh. In full disclosure, my husband is AHN’s chair of Women’s Health, and that is how I met Steven. Their partnership established a state-of-the-art facility that offers comprehensive women’s behavioral health services. The center’s unique approach encourages women to bring husbands, family members, and babies along during their care to integrate bonding and healing, rather than sending women off to a sterile environment to convalesce alone. Steven says, “until postpartum depression is viewed as a family issue, rather than a women’s issue, it will not get the attention it deserves.” Therapy can include one-on-one, as well as group sessions, intensive outpatient programs, and an outpatient partial hospitalization program, due to open in the fall of 2018. The center is located at West Penn Hospital in Pittsburgh in a space that aptly overlooks Alexis and Steven’s first home. It is hard not to feel Alexis’s presence and imagine her as a guardian angel for each woman treated there.
According to the American Psychological Association, up to one in seven women experiences postpartum depression, which doesn’t improve or dissipate without appropriate treatment. The symptoms may include some of the following:
- A loss of pleasure or interest in things previously enjoyed, including sex.
- Eating much more, or much less, than usual.
- Anxiety—all or most of the time—or panic attacks.
- Racing, scary thoughts.
- Feeling guilty or worthless— self-blame.
- Excessive irritability, anger or agitation—mood swings.
- Sadness, crying uncontrollably for long periods of time.
- Fear of not being a good mother.
- Fear of being left alone with the baby.
- Misery.
- Inability to sleep, sleeping too much, difficulty falling or staying asleep.
- Disinterest in the baby, family and friends.
- Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, or making decisions.
- Thoughts of harming the baby or oneself.
While it can be hard to separate symptoms of postpartum depression from the normal exhaustion and irritability that is inherent in pregnancy and its aftermath, it’s important that women not discount their feelings. Even more important is taking the stigma out of the discussion and treatment of perinatal mood disorders so that women can seek appropriate care in a safe, nurturing and professional environment.
It has been five years since Alexis lost her battle with postpartum depression. Her beautiful daughter, Adriana, is a thriving 5-year-old, who loves to dance and believes her mother is a star in heaven. She and her father are supported by a large and loving extended family, and caring community. Steven chose to turn his unfathomable grief into a legacy that will help prevent such tragedies in the future. His Foundation has raised substantial funds towards prevention, awareness and treatment services, and he has traveled to many cities to share Alexis’s story. In 2017 he testified at a congressional briefing urging the support of grants to states for screening and treatment of postpartum depression. Alexis was robbed of the joys of motherhood, but her legacy lives on through the Foundation, and it is his hope to reach as many families in need as he can.
If you or a loved one are experiencing the symptoms of postpartum depression, please call one of the phone numbers below. There is no shame in seeking help for this real condition that affects so many women daily.
CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE ON THE GOOD MEN PROJECT SITE
Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1-800-SUICIDE
Post Partum Support International: 1-800-944-4773